Dating coach Adam Lyons addresses the issue that can arise when you make a mistake and the girl denies you. This one understanding can help your game dramatically.
Before reading on, there is a chance that you actually flat out just don’t know how to talk to girls. And that’s okay. It’s also the reason why I made a special video that teaches the exact methods I use to attract girls. And it’s here at the end of this article for you to watch.
I’m aware while writing this article, that this is a fine line. So before I teach you the correct response to a girl saying no to you, you have to understand the following:
Come at this from a place that no means no. Don’t ever cross the line of a girl that doesn’t want you or isn’t interested.
However, just because you’re not going to cross the line, doesn’t mean that we can’t revisit the line in the future. And this is the true key to dealing with an objection as opposed to a complete rejection. BUT, if she is getting emotional, increasingly agitated, or showing any signs of discomfort… then it’s probably best to remove yourself from the situation. Remember this as you read the article.
Sometimes in our pursuit of affection, it’s possible to make a mistake and move a little faster than the other person is ready to. Without being mind readers, it’s impossible to know the correct method of escalation… and if we just wait for the girl to escalate, there’s a chance that she might not. As for every girl that says she rather things move ahead at her own pace, there are an equal number of women who say they prefer when a man initiates.
In order for us to truly maximize our chance of success, it’s important that we know how to deal with an objection versus a rejection. If at any point during an interaction with a girl you hear “No.” (common times you may hear this are when you suggest going to get a drink, she says no — You invite her back to your place, she says no — You place a hand on her leg, she says no.) The correct thing to do is to stop immediately.
Don’t push the issue, don’t make her feel guilty for it. You can even ask her “Do you want me to leave now?” If she says no to you leaving or and is not followed by her immediately removing herself from the situation or showing any signs of aggression… there is a chance that she doesn’t want this to completely stop. Either way, in order to correctly identify the next step, what you need to do is to increase something known as comfort. Any time you push too hard and get a no, it just means that she didn’t feel comfortable and didn’t trust you enough. That means you haven’t built up enough trust, therefore she doesn’t feel comfortable allowing herself to get in that situation with you.
The easiest way for her to feel comfort is not to pressure her further, but actually go back to whatever the previous situation you were in and continue doing that for a longer period of time. For example, if you were in conversation with a girl and you suggest to get drinks and she says she doesn’t want a drink, move back to just having good conversation. Then later on, you can invite her again. After all, after an additional 45 minutes of conversation there is a chance that the idea of a drink might sound refreshing.
Inviting her back to your place may not seem appealing when her friends are still in the club partying, or on the first night that she meets you. However, later on the night when her friends have gone home – if she’s still partying and dancing with you, there’s nothing wrong with suggesting it again. However I would recommend giving a reason to go back to your place rather than just suggesting it.
You need to feed your cats, and with Uber rates being at surcharge right now… it might pay for her to come hang with you back to your place for an hour while she waits for the surcharges to die down.
This still gives her the ability to say no if she wants but also gives another chance for her to say yes.
Placing your hand on her knee may be something she doesn’t want to happen at this point in time, but after a bit more conversation and her having a chance to rethink the situation, there might be a chance she will be okay with it this time. However, I wouldn’t do anything physical with her without getting permission. So the second time you want to put your hand on her knee, actually have a reason for it. Typically if I got a bad reaction the first time I touched her knee, I would focus more on my escalation knowing I did something wrong, and I wouldn’t go straight for a hand on her knee. Instead I would start off by touching her hand. This is the correct method of escalation. A great way to hold someone’s hand if you haven’t before is to give them a hand massage.
It’s very easy to make mistakes and get a bunch of rejections… especially when you don’t know the secret methods I keep specifically for my private students. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford one on one coaching with me. That’s why I made this special video where I release some of my best kept secrets.
In the video I show you how to…
Rapidly create a bond so powerful, that it eliminates competition from other guys…
Trigger the chemical inside of her that causes her to fall in love…
Make the voice inside of her head work for you instead of against you…
And more importantly how you can become a part of the selective group that I teach the rest of my knowledge and secrets to.
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